The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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