last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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