Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
