Fuck appropriateness.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
