whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize