The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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