that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
