having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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