Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
