halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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