Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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