There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You took a bar mat shot.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
