I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
