imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
