I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Randomize
