i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
