I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
