You work out of a Hotel?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize