dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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