i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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