At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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