I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
