well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
