I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize