I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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