hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He called his prostate his "boner button".
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
