According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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