Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
