You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
