She is in my trunk
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
