I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
