WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize