In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
