she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
