I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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