So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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