I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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