This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
