just come out here and I will go home with you...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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