Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
