I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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