At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
