Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
