i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
