My first STD was from a foam party
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
kristin has been a bad kristin
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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