just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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