I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
