A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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