yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
