Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
is wine microwaveable?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
