I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
