What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
