I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
