If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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