Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
