I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Shame - the story of my life.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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