I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
is it fun? or sober?
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