watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
