You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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