i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
