I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize