I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
