i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
