Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize