She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
