Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
