Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You ate ashes out of my bong
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize