You just made me feel so damn special
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
