i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize