When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
