You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize