every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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