there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize